Funny thoughts on stealing

I probably shouldn’t joke about this, but there’s this guy I see at the gym who wears a t-shirt that says, “Property of Jesus Christ,” and every time I see it, I want to say, “Hey man, maybe you should give Jesus his shirt back.”

Whenever I feel like calling the cops, I think, “What if someone called the cops on me?” Then I realize they probably did, so I hotwire a car and drive to Mexico.