Waffle Wednesday

Plain Talk with Dan and Ben

CONFIDENTIAL INFORMATION
PLEASE FORWARD AND DISTRIBUTE
TO ANYONE WHO SAVORS WAFFLEY GOODNESS

The holidays are a time for being with those you truly care about, and for eating the foods you truly care about. In that spirit, we would like to announce this month’s Waffle Wednesday. Bring your Christmas cheer, your favorite toppings and a sleepy disposition to the break room in 17C at 7 AM this coming Wednesday, Dec. 16. Rumor has it that we may even be paid a visit by that jolly old elf himself, Chuck Norris.* Don’t miss it!

The holidays are also a time for new beginnings. In that spirit, we would like to announce that this will be Dan’s second and final Waffle Wednesday as Chief Waffle Officer. We caught up with him recently for our Leadership Notes series to talk about his departure and the state of waffles in general.

Leadership Notes

WaffleInsider: Today we’re talking with Dan Florence, a.k.a. Dan of the Day, Waffle Wednesday’s Chief Waffle Officer, about the recent changes in waffle leadership. First, Dan, we’d like to thank you for being here.

Dan: Thank you.

WaffleInsider: Dan, does this mean the end of Waffle Wednesday as we know it?

Dan: It doesn’t have to. It’s kind of like the movie The Santa Clause: when one man goes down, the next guy has to step up, grow a beard, gain eighty pounds, and carry on the traditions that have been handed down to us.

WaffleInsider: With all the turnover that has been happening in Waffle Wednesday leadership, I think people are beginning to wonder if there is some kind of voodoo curse. What is your reaction to that?

Dan: Well, I certainly don’t believe there’s a curse. The way I see it, we’re simply giving more people the opportunity to be involved with waffles. In fact, Benjamin Simmons is being promoted to CWO, and we are currently accepting applications/nominations for a new Chief Officer of Waffles, his old position. So really it’s a blessing in disguise.

WaffleInsider: What about me? I could be a leader.

Dan: No offense, but you’re kind of a flake. You don’t even come to Waffle Wednesday.

WaffleInsider: Fine. Next question. Do you have any parting words?

Dan: I would just like to thank everyone for being involved. Thanks for the waffle memories—

WaffleInsider: Boring!

Dan: —and if you’d like a little dose of daily humor, check out my website at danoftheday.com—

WaffleInsider: Okay, nobody cares about your lame website. Let’s talk for a minute about this so-called “resignation.” Some people are saying you were actually forced out for embezzlement.

Dan: What? We don’t even collect any money. How could I embezzle anything?

WaffleInsider: So you’re admitting that you’ve never made any money?

Dan: No, Waffle Wednesday isn’t supposed to make money—

WaffleInsider: You’re admitting then, that you have been the worst Chief Waffle Officer in the history of this organization, and that everything will be much better after you have left?

Dan: Sure, yeah. Can I go now? The tone of this interview has suddenly become a lot less friendly. I think you’re just bitter I won’t give the job to you.

WaffleInsider: By all means, please leave. Everyone knows you’re a quitter.

Dan: Okay, great. Merry Christmas everyone, and best wishes in the future.

WaffleInsider: Says the quitter.

Waffle Wednesday
7-8 am in 17C 3rd floor break room.

Sincerely,

Dan and Ben
Dan Flo
Benjamin
National Waffle Association

Farside Waffle Light

*This email may contain statements regarding Chuck Norris. No one, but no one, tells Chuck Norris what to do.