Good thing it says it’s a dessert cake. With a name like “Cookies & Cream” I was starting to think it was one of those other kinds of cakes.
The only people who say, “It’s all about the Benjamins,” these days are guys named Benjamin.
When life gives you lemons, just be glad it wasn’t death giving them to you, because seriously, who wants to eat death lemons?
To every ring there is a dolphin, and a time for every porpoise underwater. -The Sea World Bible
When you cook for someone and they ask what’s in it, just laugh. Laugh and laugh and laugh.
Realistic Jungle Book: Wolves eat abandoned human child. Bear, panther and tiger never get a chance.
When people say, “Holla!” I do. Then they stare at me, so I holla louder. Pretty soon they go away.
If a guy takes a pregnancy test and it comes back positive, what exactly does that mean? Asking for a friend.
Being raised in a barn is actually a status symbol for a horse.
If you work , you never want to be on soda duty because you’re always grasping for straws.