Why do people tell blatant lies? I know you weren’t at the Super Bowl, because I was, and I didn’t see you there.
1.28.2015
There’s no law against disagreeing with people. Or throwing cauliflower at them.
1.22.2015
I don’t think Gaston was as unique as LeFou made him out to be.
1.20.2015
“Limits are an artificial construct. We are bound only by our imaginations.” Apparently this line will not get you out of speeding tickets.
1.9.2015
When I was a kid I thought bonanza was just something people said when they couldn’t pronounce banana.
1.8.2015
Instead of giving you the common cold, rhinovirus should turn you into a rhinoceros.
1.6.2015
New book idea: Harry Pottery Barn, about magically overpriced home decor.
Background image by Lin Kristensen, http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Timeless_Books.jpg
12.30.2014
When people say, “Down the hatch!” before taking a drink, you have to wonder about their internal anatomy.
Background image by Vinod Shankar, https://www.flickr.com/photos/shankarvinod/7920558736/
12.18.2014
Cut them to death, hang stuff on their limbs, put them in your front rooms as undead totems and call them Tannenbaum.
(Yes, resurrecting an oldie on this one. But the image is new!)
12.17.2014
Why are French people always telling us, “Say lahvee”? You say lahvee, Frenchie.
