“The pen is mightier than the sword.” False. You can use a sword to write anything you want with the blood of your slain enemies.
11.6.2013
“Baby, you’re a firework,” literally means, “I hope that someone lights you on fire and you explode.”
Book Update
November 5th, 2013
I’ve been working furiously (like, really angry) to get this book done in time for Christmas shopping. Here’s the status so far:
- Writing: Done. *High-fiving myself*
- Picking out the best thoughts from the past 4 years: Done
- Scrambling those thoughts into a pseudo-random order: Done
- Fonts and format selection: Done
- Typography: 20% complete
- Title: Selected a new one. Excited about it.
- Cover: Asked someone if they will create some cover art. Anyone interested in doing some character art for it? Contact me.
- Uploading to Amazon and printing a proof: 0% complete
Close. I’m getting close. And I’m getting very excited, because this book is a compilation of my best work, and it makes me laugh. I’m hoping it will make you laugh too.
11.5.2013
The trick to skydiving is making sure you don’t do a belly flop.
10.31.2013
Floors are just lazy walls.
10.30.2013
Do you ever wish you had two mouths so you could eat a sandwich and play the bagpipes at the same time?
10.29.2013
White boys don’t play that funky music when you tell them to.
10.25.2013
It’s kind of sad when you write a great new joke and then realize you already have one about living in an elevator.
10.24.2013
Shouldn’t polish and Polish have the same pronunciation? For all the Polack jokes, at least they know how to spell phonetically.
10.23.2013
I’ve taken many looks in many books but I have yet to find a reading rainbow.