I always laugh when people say, “Another day, another dollar,” because I make like five times as much as them.
Funny thoughts on work
8.26.2013
I hope actuaries never go on strike, because then we’ll have to figure out what an actuary even does.
5.15.2013
Help save the earth by getting your office to go paperless. Burn every last piece.
4.25.2013
If you’re ever asked to explain a gap in your employment history, just say you spent those months hunting for Horcruxes.
3.25.2013
Just because I’m unemployed doesn’t mean I have time to do pointless things like “get out of bed,” and “shave,” and “take a shower.”
3.6.2013
My dream job is to be Santa Claus. The guy never has to shave, eats whatever he wants and only works one day a year.
1.24.2013
Sometimes you just have to admit you’re not going to get anything else done today. And sometimes this happens while you’re still in bed.
1.8.2013
If we had never invented cars, I’ll bet we wouldn’t have so many out-of-work horse thieves right now. Think about the effects of your actions, people.
11.2.2012
The nice thing about my Dan of the Day email list is I always find out when complete strangers are out of the office.
9.26.2012
If you’re burning the candle at both ends maybe you should step into at least the 19th century and buy a light bulb.
