Never shake hands with a zebra. It’s not that they’re mean or diseased, it’s just if they have hands they’re probably evil mutant zebras.
Funny thoughts on wildlife
1.19.2012
My niece thinks octopuses don’t wear pants because they have too many legs. ‘Course not. It’s because they’d have to open their fly to eat.
10.10.2011
Wolves get a bad rap from fairy tales. Real wolves would never attack anthropomorphic pigs.
7.14.2011
You would buy a mansion if you won the lottery. I would buy a herd of buffalo, shave them, and let them loose downtown. To each his own.
4.12.2010
Why is the emperor penguin so formal? If I were emperor, I’d be like, “T-shirt and jeans for me, but the rest of you have to wear tuxedos.”