Tigers wouldn’t be so endangered if we just gave them some weapons. I mean seriously, who would mess with a tiger with a grenade launcher?
Funny thoughts on weapons
9.27.2012
I’m starting to question the practicality of a sack of doorknobs as a concealed weapon.
9.18.2012
I may have lost my grip on reality but I’ll never lose my grip on my lightsaber.
5.2.2012
I thought it odd that my wife keeps burying explosives in the yard, but my dad told me all women play mine games.
1.23.2012
The word “serendipity” sounds like “sarin dippity.” A person being dipped into a vat of nerve agent doesn’t sound so serendipitous.
10.17.2011
Sure we could replace war with paintball battles. But it would escalate to paint grenades, paint bombs, weapons of mass paint. I don’t want to live in a world where my kids have to worry about what color they will be in the morning.
8.19.2011
Extra words can make weapons sound so much cooler:
- knife –> tactical knife
- ax –> battle ax
- spork –> assault spork
5.23.2011
I keep these items in my car for legitimate reasons: baseball bat – playing ball, knife – dicing vegetables, axe – lumberjacking, gun – shooting people.
6.4.2010
In a tragic accident of chemical warfare pronunciation, the party came to an abrupt end when Jim shared what he thought was “serene gas.”
8.3.2009
Food-supply warfare secret weapon: hybrid clones of Kobayashi crossed with the Hamburglar.