Sure we could replace war with paintball battles. But it would escalate to paint grenades, paint bombs, weapons of mass paint. I don’t want to live in a world where my kids have to worry about what color they will be in the morning.
5.31.2011
Prediction: WWIII will be started accidentally by missile silo workers hazing the new guy with an authentic atomic wedgie.
4.14.2011
I watched expectantly as the small band of apes prepared their ambush. I was about to get my first lesson in gorilla warfare.
6.4.2010
In a tragic accident of chemical warfare pronunciation, the party came to an abrupt end when Jim shared what he thought was “serene gas.”
4.21.2010
The more of those garden gnomes you buy, the sooner they will be able to mobilize their army and destroy us all.
1.14.2010
Sometimes I raise the white flag, but then surprise! it’s actually cream-colored. Ha, ha, suckers!
8.3.2009
Food-supply warfare secret weapon: hybrid clones of Kobayashi crossed with the Hamburgler.
