If you frequently have trouble with choking, maybe you need to adjust your grip.
Funny thoughts on violence
5.9.2012
How to improve golf: Air cannons replace drivers. Air pistols for putting. The Black Eyed Peas in place of holes. Golf balls explode.
2.23.2012
People who disagree with me should be shot. Let me know if you have a different opinion.
12.12.2011
I don’t see how anyone who has seen those fighting trees on Lord of the Rings can possibly think Arbor Day is a good idea.
12.8.2011
Maria Sharapova has a mean backhand, but so does my wife whenever I try to watch women’s tennis.
11.23.2011
If my name was Joe, I’d go by Sloppy Joe, even though I’m not sloppy. If people asked me why, I’d say, “It’s better than Choppy Joe!” and cut them with my knife.
10.10.2011
Wolves get a bad rap from fairy tales. Real wolves would never attack anthropomorphic pigs.
10.3.2011
When someone says they’re going to take you to the woodshed, be sure to bring an ax. You’ll need it if you’re going to help chop wood.
8.24.2011
“Rules were made to be broken.” Yeah, well so were bones, so shut up and do what I tell you.
5.23.2011
I keep these items in my car for legitimate reasons: baseball bat – playing ball, knife – dicing vegetables, axe – lumberjacking, gun – shooting people.