The world is your oyster; it’s smelly, slimy and will disappoint you when you realize there’s nothing of value in it.
Funny thoughts on the world
5.8.2012
Smile and the world smiles with you. Unless you’re in New York, in which case it’s smile and the world gives you the bird.
4.26.2012
Whenever someone wishes for a better tomorrow, I just assume they want a world without mimes as much as I do.
5.9.2011
What the world needs now is love, sweet love. It’s the only thing that there’s just too little of. That, and chocolate hats.
9.23.2009
What the world really needs is a sport that makes extensive use of spatulas.
6.22.2009
Am I the only one who has fantasized about kicking and shotgun-blasting through It’s A Small World?
4.23.2009
If you’re having a really bad day, just remember: The world isn’t out to get you. The problem is you and your stupid ugly face.
4.22.2009
I want an army of motorcycles, mechanics and ants. Then I’ll take over the world.
