Sometimes people call me pea-brained, which seems like a really bad insult because I don’t think peas even have brains.
11.7.2011
It’s a good thing my car has a light to tell me when the gas is low, because that fuel gauge right next to it is too complicated to understand.
10.14.2011
Nice 26.2 sticker. I’m sure you run marathons, but judging by your driving, that’s also your IQ.
8.9.2011
If anyone ever got mad at me for throwing a dummy at their car, I’d just turn to it and yell, “I told you to stay out of the road, dummy!”
4.4.2011
I’m told some of these thoughts go over people’s heads. I won’t dumb them down for anyone. Frankly, I’m not sure they could get any dumber.
1.5.2011
I keep a smiley face picture on my wall so if I’m ever having a bad day I’ll see it and remember to laugh at stupid people.
6.11.2009
Stones are actually long-lived, mobile, sentient beings, waiting for all of us to die off. Now who’s dumb as rocks?
4.23.2009
If you’re having a really bad day, just remember: The world isn’t out to get you. The problem is you and your stupid ugly face.
