I probably shouldn’t joke about this, but there’s this guy I see at the gym who wears a t-shirt that says, “Property of Jesus Christ,” and every time I see it, I want to say, “Hey man, maybe you should give Jesus his shirt back.”
Funny thoughts on stealing
Why dowant bicycles? Why can’t they just ride around the neighborhood in a stolen Chrysler like I always did?
Until youin another man’s shoes, you won’t know for sure if you got away with stealing them.
Why are some people so nice tobut so mean to other guys who come and take stuff out of their mailbox?
If we had never invented cars, I’ll bet we wouldn’t have so manyhorse thieves right now. Think about the effects of your actions, people.
If Ronald McDonald can make hamburgers out of thin air, why doeshave to steal them? Just give the man a burger.
Whenever I feel like calling the cops, I think, “What if someone called the cops on me?” Then I realize they probably did,and drive to Mexico.
“Do not pass Go, do not collect $200.” Forget you. If I’mI might as well swipe $200 on my way there.
Whenever I find money in my pocket unexpectedly, I always feel a little guilty for stealing all those people’s clothes from