How to improve golf: Air cannons replace drivers. Air pistols for putting. The Black Eyed Peas in place of holes. Golf balls explode.
Funny thoughts on sports
12.8.2011
Maria Sharapova has a mean backhand, but so does my wife whenever I try to watch women’s tennis.
10.21.2011
Something about the way a hotdog and bun are held in the hand always makes me want to throw them like a football.
1.11.2011
If dodgeball taught me anything, it’s that it’s okay to throw things at other people as long as they’re on the other team.
11.9.2010
My doctor suggested I play sports for exercise. Man, does bowling get my heart rate going.
10.7.2010
I’d like to know what percent of tennis shoes are actually used for tennis on a regular basis.
8.27.2010
Forget the video console in an arena, I think Jumbotron would be a really good name for a Transformer.
6.9.2010
When people say, “We’re number one!” I always think of it in bathroom terms. Even then, it’s better than being number two.
2.2.2010
Have you ever committed suicide because your favorite sports team lost? Yeah, me neither.
10.30.2009
When Carl called the running back’s move a twirl, we knew he was a secret figure skating junkie. That, and he kept calling him Sasha Cohen.