When people say, “Holla!” I do. Then they stare at me, so I holla louder. Pretty soon they go away.
Funny thoughts on shouting
6.17.2013
When things are serious, and you want to yell, “It’s time to lay down the hammer!” be sure you don’t accidentally shout, “Hammer time!”
5.24.2013
People come quickly when you start screaming, but leave quickly when you keep screaming. Screaming is fun.
12.13.2012
Lady at the truck stop was yelling mercilessly at her kid as they got out of their big rig. That was one mean mother trucker.
6.21.2012
Whoever said “nobody wins in a shouting match” has never heard how loud I can yell.
2.16.2012
Talk about road rage: running me off the road, brandishing a gun, yelling at me on a bullhorn. Lawbreaking really upsets some cops.
11.8.2011
It’s time for a Forrest Gump re-release. People have stopped yelling, “Run, Forrest!” whenever someone is running.
4.30.2010
Nah, it’s not Tourette’s. I’m just angry sometimes.
12.3.2009
Less known than the common sparrow is the uncommon sparrow, which sports a mohawk and shouts “platypus!” at random.
11.23.2009
Once this guy asked me to stop shouting at people, so I put him under citizen’s arrest. Turns out he was a cop. A jerk cop.
