Never try to be someone you’re not, because then people are like, “Hey! You’re not my husband!” and then they call the police.
Funny thoughts on police
1.30.2013
Ethics dilemma: Are you obligated to report it to the police if you witness a crime being committed by a cat?
What to Do With a Whiny Child
July 25th, 2012Ok Mr. of the Day,
What do you do with a Whiny child?
Help!Sincerely,
Mama Amahama
Home
4.16.2012
When a cop asks you why you were driving so fast, tell them some idiot was chasing you. Don’t mention that they were the idiot.
3.14.2012
Cops should have better things to do than harass me for driving “too fast,” or “disturbing the peace,” or “melting City Hall with that death ray.” Go catch the real criminals.
2.27.2012
Whenever I feel like calling the cops, I think, “What if someone called the cops on me?” Then I realize they probably did, and drive to Mexico.
2.16.2012
Talk about road rage: running me off the road, brandishing a gun, yelling at me on a bullhorn. Lawbreaking really upsets some cops.
7.25.2011
Anyone who says it’s nice to be recognized has clearly never been in a police lineup.
4.11.2011
I’m often told I drive like Mario Andretti. My usual response is, “Why thank you, officer.”
11.23.2009
Once this guy asked me to stop shouting at people, so I put him under citizen’s arrest. Turns out he was a cop. A jerk cop.