Life would be a lot simpler if my phone had an app for sending death threats to people.
Funny thoughts on phones
3.14.2013
Yes, I have a phone holster. It’s called a pocket.
9.14.2012
Tried to make a phone call but my phone was broken. Actually it was a banana. Anyway, don’t bother texting me. I just ate my phone.
7.31.2012
Is it wrong of me to purposely flush a toilet every time I hear someone talking on their phone in a public restroom?
2.28.2012
They say talking on the phone while driving is distracting, but I’ve found there’s no real impact on my conversations at all.
11.17.2011
I used to hate red lights but with Facebook and Twitter on my phone now I can use the time to tell everyone else how much I hate red lights.
10.19.2011
It’s not only Bruce Banner – anyone can turn into the Hulk if you just make them call a voice-activated phone menu.
9.16.2011
I think my grandpa will get a cell phone as soon as they make one with a rotary dial.
8.31.2011
Now that phone booths are all gone, where is Superman supposed to change into his cape? Pretty sure there isn’t an app for that.
8.1.2011
When leaving a message for someone who is not technologically savvy, always end it with, “This phone will self destruct in 5..4..3…”
