1.26.2012

I never knew why my high school English teacher didn’t eat the cookies we made. It’s almost as if she knew they were laced with fish medicine that would make her urine green.

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Mullets are hot (because I light them on fire) t-shirt

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Slugs Are Homeless Snails T-Shirt

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6.9.2010

When people say, “We’re number one!” I always think of it in bathroom terms. Even then, it’s better than being number two.

6.8.2009

The Korean word for rain is “pee.”