Parenting tip: Have realistic expectations. Don’t try to teach your kids multi-variable calculus until they’re at least four years old.
Funny thoughts on parents
5.22.2013
I’ll bet Charlie Brown’s parents could make a kickin’ jazz album.
2.13.2013
People who say there aren’t enough hours in the day obviously don’t have kids. It’s nighttime that has too few hours.
9.13.2012
Kids, if your parents don’t like your grades, tell them it takes a couple of Cs to spell success, but not a single A or B.
2.17.2012
What’s up with zombies being fast and intelligent in the movies now? According to moms, zombies just sit and stare at the TV all the time.
9.20.2010
If I were a tree, I wouldn’t be a mighty oak or a maple. I would be a money tree, just to prove my parents wrong.
7.19.2010
My mother used to tell us to do things “for Pete’s sake.” Years later I found out “Pete” was Peter Frampton.
6.24.2010
Objects in motion tend to be my children. Or was it the other way around? Hold still so I can think straight!
6.22.2010
The nice thing about virgin olive oil is you know it’s not going to reproduce.
6.10.2010
Kids are great! I would say everyone should have kids, but I can think of a lot of exceptions.
