If you were a chicken you would never have to borrow an egg from your neighbor.
Funny thoughts on neighbors
10.16.2013
If you plant bushes to keep your neighbors’ balloons out of your yard, technically that’s a hedge against inflation.
9.6.2013
Most success requires hard work, but with just some bird food and a loud noise you can get a duck to crap on your neighbor’s porch every day.
8.13.2013
That skinny neighbor kid who was taking Karate would’ve been much more intimidating if I were a thin piece of wood.
8.2.2013
What are neighbors’ mail slots for, if not to deposit slices of leftover pizza?
6.26.2013
Their dog barks from 2-2:30 AM and the neighbors don’t care, but I bark back for 30 seconds and suddenly they’re annoyed.
5.6.2013
If you call it “decapitating the lawn” instead of “mowing the lawn,” it’s easier to explain to your neighbors why you don’t believe in doing it.
12.6.2011
There’s no experience quite like cutting your own live Christmas tree out of your neighbor’s yard.
7.19.2011
The zoning board denied my request to build a huge tower in my yard. Apparently “lording over my neighbors” isn’t good enough justification.
12.13.2010
People in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. Or be surprised when their neighbors watch them get dressed.
