If there was never a guy named Phil Harmonic, then who started all those orchestras?
8.30.2011
“Power line” is a pretty awesome name for something so wimpy. If they’re so powerful, why does my electricity keep going out?
8.22.2011
Celebrities give their kids weird names: Moroccan, Apple, Pilot Inspektor, Kah-el. I prefer biblical names, like Maher-shalal-hash-baz.
8.18.2011
With a name like that, you would think Smoky the Bear is either an arsonist or a cigarette mascot.
6.27.2011
In order to reduce my typos, could everyone named Brian please just change your name to Brain?
5.13.2010
My daughter wanted to name the baby Candy Bar, but I told her no way, because I wanted to name him Twix.
4.7.2010
I’m changing my middle name to Comma, just because it will really confuse people when I say my name is Dan Comma Florence.
3.30.2010
Before we met in person, I had no idea she was a woman. I mean, who names a girl Alicia?
