It’s a magical time in life when you finally realize that the only way to be truly happy is to kill everyone who makes you unhappy.
Funny thoughts on murder
10.26.2011
If people respawned somewhere else a few seconds after they die, just like in video games, I would kill a lot more people in real life.
7.12.2011
People talk about getting away with murder, but what about getting away with dropping thousands of corn dogs on the White House from a plane? Why isn’t that a phrase?
11.30.2010
Did you know that the blood in the shower scene from Psycho is actually chocolate syrup? That chick had chocolate blood!
7.22.2010
If it weren’t for the whole straitjacket and padded room thing, I would strongly consider going insane. Those guys get away with murder.
11.19.2009
Charles Manson used Beatles songs for evil, but I use them for good. I gave a silver hammer to someone named Maxwell.
6.24.2009
Talk Like a Pirate Day is September 19. I’m more concerned about Pillage, Plunder, Burn and Murder Like a Pirate Day.
4.28.2009
They say if you knew what’s in a hot dog you’d never eat one again. I say if hot dogs knew we eat them they’d kill us all in the night.