Whenever I find money in my pocket unexpectedly, I always feel a little guilty for stealing all those people’s clothes from the gym.
9.1.2011
Companies spend millions of dollars on systems to track their inventory. Wouldn’t it be cheaper to just hire the Count from Sesame Street?
8.26.2011
If you follow the idiom, “Put your money where your mouth is,” you should never put your money in a bank. Unless it’s a mouth bank.
7.14.2011
You would buy a mansion if you won the lottery. I would buy a herd of buffalo, shave them, and let them loose downtown. To each his own.
6.17.2011
There are some things money can’t buy, but nuclear threats can get you most of them.
3.21.2011
I wonder if people with gold teeth are tempted to punch themselves in the face when inflation is really high.
11.2.2010
If I had any idea what “overdrawn” meant, I would do something about these account statements.
9.20.2010
If I were a tree, I wouldn’t be a mighty oak or a maple. I would be a money tree, just to prove my parents wrong.
4.6.2010
No, I said stick-figure salary. We’ll be paying you in black-and-white-oversimplified-cartoon cash.
4.5.2010
Want to waste your time selling overpriced junk so a guy way up the chain can get rich? No, it’s not a pyramid scheme. Yes, it is selling drugs. Reply soon.
