I always thought capitalists were just people who lived in Washington D.C. or Brussels or Moscow or places like that.
Funny thoughts on money
4.9.2013
If you’re a billionaire and you don’t ride a zebra around town now and then, you don’t deserve to be rich.
1.23.2013
If I had a dime for every time I heard someone say, “If I had a dime…” I would throw it at them violently.
12.7.2012
Fact: If you ride the gravy train long enough, eventually you arrive in Idaho at the biggest plate of mashed potatoes in the world.
10.15.2012
Do subliminal messages work give me money?
8.6.2012
I don’t have twenty thousand followers on Twitter, but if I did I would send each and every one of them a personal tweet asking for money.
5.21.2012
Sometimes it pays to have a job.
4.10.2012
I’ll bet women named Penny get really mad whenever people talk about penny pinching.
9.14.2011
Whenever I find money in my pocket unexpectedly, I always feel a little guilty for stealing all those people’s clothes from the gym.
9.1.2011
Companies spend millions of dollars on systems to track their inventory. Wouldn’t it be cheaper to just hire the Count from Sesame Street?