A diamond ring is a hard, cold, lifeless symbol for a new marriage. We should have engagement kittens.
Funny thoughts on marriage
2.15.2012
My wife gave me kisses for Valentine’s Day. Now at work I give kisses to everyone who passes by. Chocolate makes me sound like a whore.
12.8.2011
Maria Sharapova has a mean backhand, but so does my wife whenever I try to watch women’s tennis.
11.28.2011
Newlywed reaction to a small bed: Ooh, cozy! Later marriage reaction: I’m getting an elbow to the face in my sleep tonight!
7.1.2011
I don’t know about long-term health benefits, but dark chocolate has done wonders for my marriage over the years.
9.27.2010
Me: “I’m death?” My wife: “No, I said you’re deaf.”