I love the pitter-patter of little feet, but only if it’s the sound of Oompa Loompas making chocolate for me.
Funny thoughts on kids
1.6.2014
Even Batman cries sometimes.
10.1.2013
Climbing trees is more fun when you’re a carefree kid and you don’t have to worry about things like falling or being caught by the FBI.
8.27.2013
Confession: As a kid, I couldn’t understand why people in the song Home on the Range were discouraged by the word “seldom”.
8.13.2013
That skinny neighbor kid who was taking Karate would’ve been much more intimidating if I were a thin piece of wood.
5.14.2013
Kids’ music should have suggestive lyrics. Stuff like, “Why not go clean your room?” or, “You should be quiet so daddy can sleep.”
2.28.2013
Kids who ask for a pony are so spoiled. When I was a child the only pet I ever had was a boring old elephant.
2.13.2013
People who say there aren’t enough hours in the day obviously don’t have kids. It’s nighttime that has too few hours.
11.1.2012
Medical studies have found that sugar does not cause hyperactivity in children. Medical studies are full of crap.
8.23.2012
Sometimes I just want to return to the innocence of childhood when people were judged by things they couldn’t control, like their last name.
