My kids won’t stay in bed at night. Enter Sandman is a lullaby, right?
10.17.2011
Sure we could replace war with paintball battles. But it would escalate to paint grenades, paint bombs, weapons of mass paint. I don’t want to live in a world where my kids have to worry about what color they will be in the morning.
9.30.2011
Be sure to teach your kids the alphabet song: “A-B-C-D, have you any wool? How I wonder what you are.”
8.23.2011
Note to self: cartwheels take way more room as a man than as a child. Also, buy new light fixture.
7.14.2010
For some reason, the Be-good-or-we’ll-sell-you-to-the-Gypsies threat works on the kids, but not the cat. Maybe he knows Gypsies don’t buy cats.
6.24.2010
Objects in motion tend to be my children. Or was it the other way around? Hold still so I can think straight!
6.10.2010
Kids are great! I would say everyone should have kids, but I can think of a lot of exceptions.
2.25.2010
Why do for yourself what you could teach a kid to train a monkey to build a robot to do?
1.21.2010
If you want to put your kids’ minds at ease on the subject, tell them death is just an alien abduction you never come back from.
