I won’t believe your government conspiracy theories until I’m dragged out of my house into a black van in the night like all my neighbors were.
Funny thoughts on kidnapping
10.11.2011
If I had a talk show, I would staff it entirely with apes. Then we’ll kidnap Jane Goodall, and at last I will be the chimpanzee lady!
7.29.2011
When I was a kid, I wanted to live on clouds. Now that I’m not so naive, I know that would quadruple my odds of being abducted by aliens.
7.26.2011
Computers are great, but every once in a while I like to pull out the old typewriter for a bit of nostalgia as I write my ransom notes.
8.3.2010
Sometimes the only way to get a captive audience is a mass kidnapping.
