You should always be nice to the garbage man because he knows what you’ve been throwing away.
Funny thoughts on jobs
3.6.2013
My dream job is to be Santa Claus. The guy never has to shave, eats whatever he wants and only works one day a year.
1.8.2013
If we had never invented cars, I’ll bet we wouldn’t have so many out-of-work horse thieves right now. Think about the effects of your actions, people.
8.31.2012
What college degree do you need to become one those people who dances on the sidewalk holding a “Large Pizza $5.99” sign?
5.31.2012
It’s not my job to make everyone happy. That’s what chocolate is for.
5.21.2012
Sometimes it pays to have a job.
4.27.2011
If someone asks your occupation, say France. If they don’t laugh, whisper, “But I’m sympathetic to the Resistance,” and give a thumbs up.
2.15.2011
After a failed career in pro fighting, the Karate Kid alternated jobs as a carwash attendant and fence painter.
7.13.2010
My manager chewed me out for not doing my job right. Which is hypocritical, because he obviously botched it when he hired me.
4.6.2010
No, I said stick-figure salary. We’ll be paying you in black-and-white-oversimplified-cartoon cash.