Funny thoughts on jargon

Jargon: an industry’s way of making you think that what they do is really complicated.

Here’s a partial list of some corporate jargon:

  • SBU – strategic business underwear
  • actionable – movies like the Terminator, Batman, the Matrix, etc.
  • conflict resolution – resolving issues through armed force
  • best practices – the kind that end with a shout of, “Goooo team!” followed by milk and cookies
  • CEO – chief executioner officer
  • competitive advantage – performance-enhancing substances
  • milestones – large stones carried for a mile as a business-related punishment
  • MNC – multi-nautilus company
  • downsize – what to do when you have no idea how to fix things
  • rightsize – the same as downsize (!)
  • monetization – selling off office furniture, appliances, etc.

Know some jargon of your own?