I am completely sane. Just ask that bush over there.
Funny thoughts on insanity
10.30.2012
There’s nothing crazy about having big dreams. Unless your dream is about whales swimming in the clouds, eating giant bagel pizzas. That’s crazy.
9.18.2012
I may have lost my grip on reality but I’ll never lose my grip on my lightsaber.
6.28.2012
Sometimes I can’t tell if something is actually funny or I’m just messed up in the head. Lettuce is funny, right?
4.12.2012
When people talk about abandoned lots I never know whether they mean empty land or my psychotic ex-girlfriend.
3.20.2012
It can be awkward if someone overhears you talking to yourself, but it can be more awkward if you notice and start saying really crazy stuff.
2.10.2012
I’ve cataloged all my behavior for the past 96 hours and referenced it against psychiatric databases, and I can now definitively say I am not obsessive.
12.9.2011
Sometimes when I’m feeling really wild I wear my socks on the wrong feet on purpose.
11.24.2010
The Bluetooth headset – finally an invention that allows me to talk to myself in public without appearing insane.
9.14.2010
To keep people on their toes, every once in a while mutter under your breath, “No one will ever see it coming, mwah ha ha!”