1.24.2012

It took man thousands of years to come up with modern central heating, and now we think it’s neat if a home has a fireplace.

Dan's Funny Shirts

Mullets are hot (because I light them on fire) t-shirt

Mullets Are Hot T-Shirt

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Slugs Are Just Homeless Snails T-Shirt

Slugs Are Homeless Snails T-Shirt

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8.16.2011

Most of what we call “tree houses” are really just tree shacks.

5.11.2011

Look, if you buy a house in a flood plain, you’re not getting any sympathy from me when the Kraken eats your poodle.

12.13.2010

People in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. Or be surprised when their neighbors watch them get dressed.

10.27.2009

When I was a kid, we would always play house. That was pretty boring, since houses can’t move or talk. Tag was way better. Freeze tag.

6.2.2009

If something happens to our planet, Jupiter seems like a nice place to live. I’d buy a house on the big red oval.