Dan of the Day » holidays

New Year’s Resolution

Dan of the Day — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 20:03:42 +0000

My New Year’s resolution is to not make any New Year’s resolutions. And now that I’ve broken it, I’m all done with resolutions this year.

Dan of the Day — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 20:28:14 +0000

To everyone who says I don’t know anything about Christmas cheer, how about this one? Santa, Santa, he’s our man. If he can’t do it, no one can!

Dan of the Day — Thu, 05 May 2011 20:44:07 +0000

Myth: Cinco de Mayo is Mexican Independence Day. Fact: It’s actually the celebration of 5 jars of mayonnaise.

Dan of the Day — Thu, 17 Mar 2011 19:51:04 +0000

Green food coloring is derived from coal tar and crude oil byproducts. Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

Dan of the Day — Mon, 14 Feb 2011 17:38:18 +0000

The difference between conversation hearts and chalk is that you can actually say something meaningful with chalk. Also, chalk tastes better.

Dan of the Day — Fri, 04 Feb 2011 17:35:55 +0000

China: 1.3 billion people celebrating New Year’s a month late.

Dan of the Day — Mon, 06 Sep 2010 17:27:30 +0000

Pregnant women of America, give birth! That’s what Labor Day is all about!

Dan of the Day — Fri, 21 May 2010 15:34:48 +0000

This Father’s Day, remember what Luke told his father in Cloud City on Bespin.

Dan of the Day — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 16:21:44 +0000

This is the most hilarious April Fool’s Day joke ever! Check it out!

Dan of the Day — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 17:24:18 +0000

There’s a chemical in turkey that makes me want to watch college football.