Need more blessings in your life? Just sneeze around other people more often.
Funny thoughts on health
8.21.2012
How can I tell if this is a good doctor or not? I know he smokes, but he also tried to take a bite out of my arm. Yellow light?
7.28.2011
When you have a stomach ache, call it a “sto-ma-cha-ché.” No one will know what you’re talking about, but you’ll feel more exotic.
7.1.2011
I don’t know about long-term health benefits, but dark chocolate has done wonders for my marriage over the years.
6.13.2011
Partially-hydrogenated oils are bad for you. Hydrogenated oils aren’t quite as bad. Androgenated oils? Well, it’s hard to tell.
4.5.2011
Buying a meal at a gas station is like buying a burial plot at a landfill – you really
9.22.2010
I don’t say, “Bless you,” when people sneeze, but if they forget to cover their mouth I give a polite, “Curse you.”
6.7.2010
I thought I had some kind of bizarre alien growth on the back of my neck, but it turns out it was just a cyst. Lame.