Halloween is evil because it just teaches kids that extortion works.
10.29.2010
Halloween: The kids are scared of ghosts and monsters. The adults are scared people will think they’re pedophiles if they don’t give out candy.
10.6.2010
He scared the bejeebers out of me, and I was like, “Give me back my bejeebers!”
10.31.2009
If modern Halloween is just a creation of the candy companies, those guys need to make up more holidays.
4.29.2009
When I was a kid we had a Halloween candle with a red pumpkin on it. Who knew pumpkins were red in China? Also, why did mom ever buy that?
