7.6.2011

Never bring a knife to a gunfight. Unless you have a gun that shoots knives instead of bullets. Then bring lots of knives.

Dan's Funny Shirts

"Dan of the Day" with a Che Guevara-Stylized image of Dan's Face on a Red Background

Dan of the Day Revolution Shirt

$14.95 and up
Mullets are hot (because I light them on fire) t-shirt

Mullets Are Hot T-Shirt

$16.95 and up
All shirts...

6.30.2011

Yes, we had pet hospitals when I was a kid. They came in two versions: 20-gauge or 12-gauge.

5.23.2011

I keep these items in my car for legitimate reasons: baseball bat – playing ball, knife – dicing vegetables, axe – lumberjacking, gun – shooting people.

10.20.2010

If you’re ever surrounded by a pack of wild dogs, just pretend you have fleas so they’ll feel bad for you. Then shoot them with your gun.

8.4.2009

I think a sixshooter makes a good fashion statement: I’m carrying a gun.

Sixshooter as a Fashion Statement

6.22.2009

Am I the only one who has fantasized about kicking and shotgun-blasting through It’s A Small World?