Poker is not a serious sport. They don’t even let you bring a revolver anymore.
Funny thoughts on guns
8.29.2014
Even with pumped-up kicks, it’s pretty hard to run faster than a bullet.
10.17.2013
Question for you hunters out there – I know I need a hunting license, but do I need a tag to shoot a unicorn?
10.15.2013
Maybe hippies put flowers in the barrels of guns because they didn’t like flowers and wanted the soldiers to shoot them.
5.9.2012
How to improve golf: Air cannons replace drivers. Air pistols for putting. The Black Eyed Peas in place of holes. Golf balls explode.
3.1.2012
Listen, door-to-door salesguy: I’m just not interested in a home security system that doesn’t have guided machine guns.
2.23.2012
People who disagree with me should be shot. Let me know if you have a different opinion.
2.16.2012
Talk about road rage: running me off the road, brandishing a gun, yelling at me on a bullhorn. Lawbreaking really upsets some cops.
7.6.2011
Never bring a knife to a gunfight. Unless you have a gun that shoots knives instead of bullets. Then bring lots of knives.
6.30.2011
Yes, we had pet hospitals when I was a kid. They came in two versions: 20-gauge or 12-gauge.
