Prison would be better if it wasn’t full ofand the food was really good and you could come and go whenever you wanted.
Funny thoughts on getting arrested
Climbing trees is more fun when you’re a carefree kid and you don’t have to worry about things like falling orby the FBI.
Bananas and boomerangs have a lot in common: they’re curved, they’re aerodynamic, andwhen you throw them at cops.
“Do not pass Go, do not collect $200.” Forget you. If I’mI might as well swipe $200 on my way there.
Mattress labels are commonly misunderstood. They say,So if you take it off you have to eat it.
I hope Judgment Day goes better than
I got caught toilet papering my neighbor’s house and they pressed charges. Can you believe that? Maybe I shouldn’t have lit it on fire.
Once this guy asked me to stop, so I put him under citizen’s arrest. Turns out he was a cop. A jerk cop.
A phrase I often use is, “You can’t fire me, I quit!” Almost as often as, “You can’t arrest me, I turn myself in!”