Dan of the Day » fruit

Excuses Are Like Lemons

Dan of the Day — Wed, 16 Mar 2011 19:21:13 +0000

Excuses are like lemons: everyone’s got one, and they’re high in vitamin C. Where was I going with this?

California Raisin

Dan of the Day — Mon, 29 Nov 2010 18:00:33 +0000

I dyed myself purple and stayed in the bathtub all week. My life-long dream of being one of the California Raisins is finally coming true!

Fruit with Brains

Dan of the Day — Tue, 26 Oct 2010 18:24:31 +0000

Fruit with brains? If it’s true, then yes, grape minds think alike.

Watermelon in my Stomach

Dan of the Day — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 17:22:17 +0000

Imagine my surprise when a watermelon really did grow in my stomach. Then imagine the embarrassment of wearing maternity clothes as a man.

Wearing Purple

Dan of the Day — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 17:00:11 +0000

If you don’t like someone, wait until they are wearing purple, then stomp on them and say, “I thought you were a grape!”

Eggplant is a Fruit

Dan of the Day — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 14:56:35 +0000

The eggplant is actually a fruit. Yup. Suckiest fruit ever.

This fruit, apparently, has a face too, so not only is it not sweet like a fruit should be, you also feel guilty if you eat it. This same principle keeps people from eating mannequin heads.