Funny thoughts on fruit

June 27th, 2012

Dear Dan,

I’ve been wanting to get my hair cut for quite a while. I know exactly what I want it to look like, and I’m sure that I would like it very much. My problem is two-fold. First, I am petrified of getting a bad haircut. Since I have a very real picture of what I want it to look like, I’m afraid that I will be easily disappointed. Second, I really enjoy being able to style my hair according to my mood. If it was shorter, I would have far fewer options. I’ve noticed that most of my friends do their hair the same way, day after day. While they look lovely much of the time, I don’t think that is something that I would enjoy. To cut, or not to cut?

Haircut-Phobic
Fruitland

Read Dan’s Advice to Haircut-Phobic…

I dyed myself purple and stayed in the bathtub all week. My life-long dream of being one of the California Raisins is finally coming true!

If you don’t like someone, wait until they are wearing purple, then stomp on them and say, “I thought you were a grape!”

The eggplant is actually a fruit. Yup. Suckiest fruit ever.

Mutant Eggplant

This fruit, apparently, has a face too, so not only is it not sweet like a fruit should be, you also feel guilty if you eat it. This same principle keeps people from eating mannequin heads.