When your friends stop planning massive parties and start planning mass suicides it’s time to find a different cult.
Funny thoughts on friends
3.15.2013
Growing up my best friend was a coat rack. I would have made new friends, but nobody was as good at holding coats as he was.
2.20.2013
Choose friends that would run through a brick wall for you. Then if you get sick of them, you know, brick wall.
2.11.2013
Anyone who thinks it’s bad having a friend as a third wheel has never dated a ventriloquist.
Pronouncing a Word Incorrectly
October 17th, 2012Dear Dan,
I was wondering if it is socially acceptable and how I would go about telling somebody that they are pronouncing a word incorrectly.
Grammar Girl
Greenwood Village
9.25.2012
I think I could be close friends with a houseplant. They don’t make me angry, and I’ve never felt guilty for accidentally killing one.
9.5.2012
The ridiculous thing about cats having Facebook accounts is that cats don’t even have friends in real life.
7.19.2012
My friend said I’m one of the most competitive people he knows. I said, “Who’s the most competitive, and what do I have to do to top them?”
2.2.2011
Just organized my social website friends into groups. Every one of them made it on the Unlikely-to-Win-in-a-Fight-with-a-Bear list.
2.9.2010
Don’t say I never did anything for you, because then people would know.