Was it named cottage cheese because of where it used to be made or where it was eaten? I need to know whether to call it factory cheese now or salad bar cheese.
10.21.2011
Something about the way a hotdog and bun are held in the hand always makes me want to throw them like a football.
8.5.2011
You know what else is fat free? Dirt. Tastes about the same, and I don’t eat it either.
6.13.2011
Partially-hydrogenated oils are bad for you. Hydrogenated oils aren’t quite as bad. Androgenated oils? Well, it’s hard to tell.
5.6.2011
Whoever said “Thank goodness for Chef Boyardee” had either never tasted it, or had used it to poison their enemies.
4.20.2011
Eggplant parmegiana: proof that almost anything can taste good if you bread it, fry it, and drench it in a good sauce.
4.5.2011
Buying a meal at a gas station is like buying a burial plot at a landfill – you really don’t care what happens to your body.
2.16.2011
I don’t buy burgers from Creepy King, Pennywise or Icecreamconehead. I get mine from Pippi Longstocking, because square meat tastes better.
10.22.2010
I don’t have any scruples, but you’re welcome to the Doritos in the pantry.
10.1.2010
If I ever become a patron saint, I’m going to patronize KFC. I bet they’ll give me free coleslaw.
