All you need to be happy in life is a close friend and a swimming pool full of Cheetos.
If you are what you eat, that would explain why so many kids are total boogers.
I wasn’t worried about caloric intake until I found out it’s actually not part of a car engine.
Background image deriv. of Ahmad Ziyad Maricar, http://www.flickr.com/photos/88758808@N00/527844080/
A Subway subway is an underground train that takes you to a sandwich shop.
Background image deriv. of Matthew Rutledge, https://www.flickr.com/photos/rutlo/3164514287/in/gallery-mattimattila-72157625636640685/
Your secret stash of candy is not as secret as you think. Also, it is now smaller than you think.
Background image deriv. of normanack, https://www.flickr.com/photos/29278394@N00/59538977/
Organic and high in fiber, nutrients and natural bacteria: the new superfood is bull crap.
The mall food court: a place where you can sit and judge people for their eating choices.
“To the Victor go the spoils,” I say as I mail my rotten leftovers to some dude named Victor.
Never trust a skinny cook. Thin people are murderous and will probably try to poison you.
Prison would be better if it wasn’t full of mean people and the food was really good and you could come and go whenever you wanted.