1.24.2012

It took man thousands of years to come up with modern central heating, and now we think it’s neat if a home has a fireplace.

Dan's Funny Shirts

The words "Natural Enemies" are in large print. In the center, a dolphin says to a shark, "Quit eating us," and the shark answers, "Stop smiling all the time, you morons!"

Dolphins and Sharks T-Shirt

$16.95 and up
Why do for yourself what you could teach your kid to train a monkey to build a robot to do?

Kid Monkey Robot Shirt

$16.95 and up
All shirts...

10.13.2011

“Fight fire with fire” is just advice from some pyro. And according to my attorney, it’s also something called “arson.”

4.20.2010

When the weather’s bad I like to curl up by the fire with some hot chocolate. And then burn things.

1.22.2010

I got caught toilet papering my neighbor’s house and they pressed charges. Can you believe that? Maybe I shouldn’t have lit it on fire.

8.7.2009

Mankind’s best discoveries: fire, the wheel, mozzarella sticks.

6.12.2009

If anyone ever tells you, “Don’t go into that burning chemical warehouse to save your Chia Pet,” well, they’re heartless.