Light a birthday cake on fire, everyone sings. Light garbage on fire, nobody sings. Conclusion: people like garbage more than cake.
Background image by Tela Chhe, https://www.flickr.com/photos/telachhe/2956539243/
“Baby, you’re a firework,” literally means, “I hope that someone lights you on fire and you explode.”
An easygoing flame can be a really good teacher if you just take the time to learn its surefire ways.
Most of the world’s drought problems would probably be solved if Adele would just stop setting fire to the rain.
Help save the earth by getting your office to go paperless. Burn every last piece.
At some point you have to admit your wife might have a crush on a firefighter and that’s why she keeps burning down the house.
Dear Dan,
I love to hear a piece of juicy gossip as much as the next girl. However, also like the next girl, I hate when gossip is being spread about me!
I have a family member with whom I feel thinks everything is just news to be passed along to other relatives and friends. I really don’t appreciate the details of my life, whether sordid or boring, being published abroad without my approval.
On the other hand, when this relative has gossip about others I’m all ears.
Yes, Dan of the Day, I’m aware that I am being hypocritical in this matter. I want to hear the latest gossip from this relative without her turning around and gossiping about me. If I say something to her about her gossiping ways she may stop filling me in on the details from the lives of others! So my question for you is: How can I have my cake and eat it too?
Mrs. Somebody
The Den
Some epic battles are destined to continue forever: Fire vs. Water. Good vs. Evil. Cap’n Crunch vs. the Soggies.
If you work in a match factory do people call you the matchmaker?
It took man thousands of years to come up with modern central heating, and now we think it’s neat if a home has a fireplace.