“Baby, you’re a firework,” literally means, “I hope that someone lights you on fire and you explode.”
Funny thoughts on fire
8.23.2013
An easygoing flame can be a really good teacher if you just take the time to learn its surefire ways.
5.28.2013
Most of the world’s drought problems would probably be solved if Adele would just stop setting fire to the rain.
5.15.2013
Help save the earth by getting your office to go paperless. Burn every last piece.
4.30.2013
At some point you have to admit your wife might have a crush on a firefighter and that’s why she keeps burning down the house.
2.27.2013
Dear Dan,
I love to hear a piece of juicy gossip as much as the next girl. However, also like the next girl, I hate when gossip is being spread about me!
I have a family member with whom I feel thinks everything is just news to be passed along to other relatives and friends. I really don’t appreciate the details of my life, whether sordid or boring, being published abroad without my approval.
On the other hand, when this relative has gossip about others I’m all ears.
Yes, Dan of the Day, I’m aware that I am being hypocritical in this matter. I want to hear the latest gossip from this relative without her turning around and gossiping about me. If I say something to her about her gossiping ways she may stop filling me in on the details from the lives of others! So my question for you is: How can I have my cake and eat it too?
Mrs. Somebody
The Den
7.2.2012
Some epic battles are destined to continue forever: Fire vs. Water. Good vs. Evil. Cap’n Crunch vs. the Soggies.
2.24.2012
If you work in a match factory do people call you the matchmaker?
1.24.2012
It took man thousands of years to come up with modern central heating, and now we think it’s neat if a home has a fireplace.
10.13.2011
“Fight fire with fire” is just advice from some pyro. And according to my attorney, it’s also something called “arson.”
