Supervillain advice: When you do something evil, don’t say things like, “Nothing can stop it now!” Your plan will be stopped every time.
Funny thoughts on evil
6.10.2013
Instead of a lightsaber, shouldn’t Darth Vader have a darksaber?
5.16.2013
I can never remember – are you supposed to exorcise your demons, or exercise your demons?
7.2.2012
Some epic battles are destined to continue forever: Fire vs. Water. Good vs. Evil. Cap’n Crunch vs. the Soggies.
4.25.2012
Never shake hands with a zebra. It’s not that they’re mean or diseased, it’s just if they have hands they’re probably evil mutant zebras.
4.4.2012
In my hometown there wasn’t a “wrong side of the tracks.” I guess the railroad forgot to follow the good/evil divide when laying track.
10.31.2011
Halloween is evil because it just teaches kids that extortion works.
10.21.2010
Lids on laundry hampers have two evil goals: 1) inconvenience those who put clothes in, and 2) keep the clothes from escaping.
9.14.2010
To keep people on their toes, every once in a while mutter under your breath, “No one will ever see it coming, mwah ha ha!”
1.29.2010
“Made from Scratch.” Isn’t that the devil? These are devil cookies!
