Halloween is evil because it just teaches kids that extortion works.
10.21.2010
Lids on laundry hampers have two evil goals: 1) inconvenience those who put clothes in, and 2) keep the clothes from escaping.
9.14.2010
To keep people on their toes, every once in a while mutter under your breath, “No one will ever see it coming, mwah ha ha!”
11.19.2009
Charles Manson used Beatles songs for evil, but I use them for good. I gave a silver hammer to someone named Maxwell.
6.5.2009
I’ve started shaping my eyebrows like women do. Well, not exactly like women – my goal is to look more evil.
