For how good they smell, you’d think scented candles would taste a lot better than they do.
Funny thoughts on eating
4.11.2013
Wait a minute – if you are what you eat, and I’m a human being, WHY DON’T I REMEMBER EATING ANYONE?
3.6.2013
My dream job is to be Santa Claus. The guy never has to shave, eats whatever he wants and only works one day a year.
2.26.2013
Thanks to the modern keyboard, I often type “food” instead of “good”: Food to know. Food idea. Sounds food. Pretty accurate, really.
1.31.2013
I am of the opinion that cheeseburgers should not be sold in liquid form.
1.14.2013
This needs to be clarified. gluten-free: diet with no wheat. glute-free: person with no butt.
12.6.2012
The problem with day care places these days is none of them will give me crackers anymore when I show up for snack time.
11.28.2012
Maybe ostriches put their heads in the sand because they like to eat sand. I wish people were nicer to guys who eat sand.
11.15.2012
“Judge not, lest ye be judged,” I tell people as I eat my bucket of cookie dough.
10.30.2012
There’s nothing crazy about having big dreams. Unless your dream is about whales swimming in the clouds, eating giant bagel pizzas. That’s crazy.