When a cop asks you why you were driving so fast, tell them some idiot was chasing you. Don’t mention that they were the idiot.
Funny thoughts on driving
3.14.2012
Cops should have better things to do than harass me for driving “too fast,” or “disturbing the peace,” or “melting City Hall with that death ray.” Go catch the real criminals.
3.12.2012
It’s amazing how often people are surprised when a traffic light changes. What did they think was going to happen?
2.28.2012
They say talking on the phone while driving is distracting, but I’ve found there’s no real impact on my conversations at all.
2.16.2012
Talk about road rage: running me off the road, brandishing a gun, yelling at me on a bullhorn. Lawbreaking really upsets some cops.
1.31.2012
You would think that by now everyone would’ve seen enough roadkill to know that cat-like reflexes aren’t all they’re cracked up to be.
1.30.2012
I can understand why I occasionally see Alaska license plates, but I really want to know how those cars from Hawaii drove across the Pacific.
1.27.2012
Which Mario Kart bonus would be better for driving in real life – a star or a heat-seeking turtle shell?
1.20.2012
There needs to be a legal limit to the number of cars stuck behind a slow driver before they have to pull over and find their gas pedal.
1.13.2012
People are so obsessed about getting the closest parking spot that they miss a spot that would be better for making a quick getaway.