When people say, “Down the hatch!” before taking a drink, you have to wonder about their internal anatomy.
Background image by Vinod Shankar, https://www.flickr.com/photos/shankarvinod/7920558736/
People talk about drinking out of a firehose like it’s a bad thing, but it probably would get those little popcorn shells out of your mouth.
Wander into a house at night, trash the place, and pass out in a weird position. The next morning, tell them you’re the Elf on the Shelf.
I guess I need to buy some new drink coasters because I finally ran out of AOL free trial CDs.
Optimist: “The glass is half full.”
Pessimist: “The glass is half empty.”
Me: “Who the hell drank out of my cup?”
Why do so many jokes start with an animal walking into a bar? That’s so unrealistic. Everyone knows animals prefer to drink alone.
Spring forward, fall back. Unless you’re drunk, in which case you don’t spring at all and you fall forward.