12.22.2011

What’s up with dogs wearing sweaters? If anything, they should wear a pair of pants and a diaper.

Dan's Funny Shirts

"Dan of the Day" with a Che Guevara-Stylized image of Dan's Face on a Red Background

Dan of the Day Revolution Shirt

$14.95 and up
Mullets are hot (because I light them on fire) t-shirt

Mullets Are Hot T-Shirt

$16.95 and up
All shirts...

5.11.2011

Look, if you buy a house in a flood plain, you’re not getting any sympathy from me when the Kraken eats your poodle.

3.3.2011

Saw a guy with a shirt that said, “In dog beers, I’ve only had one.” I’m thinking that’s maybe 0.3 human beers, so…

1.27.2011

It was raining cats and dogs, so I called animal control. Turns out a tornado hit the local pound.

10.20.2010

If you’re ever surrounded by a pack of wild dogs, just pretend you have fleas so they’ll feel bad for you. Then shoot them with your gun.

8.12.2010

One of the funniest things in the world is a big dog dragging a scrawny person behind it.

3.16.2010

I’m glad most people don’t have the same excrement habits as dogs.

10.21.2009

Obscure Medical Fact #17: Dogs are just a different kind of people.

My wife witnessed this scene at the grocery store. Not sure how he reaches the pedals.

My wife witnessed this scene at the grocery store. Not sure how he reaches the pedals.

7.15.2009

Manicures are for men, womanicures are for women, pedicures are for dogs and cats. No idea what epicures are good for.

7.8.2009

Obscure Medical Fact #72: Labradoodles cause cancer.

Labradoodles Cause Cancer