People: “You only live once!” Cats: “You only live nine times!” Dogs: “Gotta catch my tail, gotta catch my tail, gotta catch my tail…”
Funny thoughts on dogs
11.20.2012
You like long walks on the beach? I like short walks to my bed. Get a dog or something.
8.30.2012
We’re now past the dog days of summer. So when do the hamster days of summer start?
5.29.2012
Do dogs stick their heads out of car windows because they like the wind, or because their owners are so stinky even a dog can’t stand it?
12.22.2011
What’s up with dogs wearing sweaters? If anything, they should wear a pair of pants and a diaper.
5.11.2011
Look, if you buy a house in a flood plain, you’re not getting any sympathy from me when the Kraken eats your poodle.
3.3.2011
Saw a guy with a shirt that said, “In dog beers, I’ve only had one.” I’m thinking that’s maybe 0.3 human beers, so…
1.27.2011
It was raining cats and dogs, so I called animal control. Turns out a tornado hit the local pound.
10.20.2010
If you’re ever surrounded by a pack of wild dogs, just pretend you have fleas so they’ll feel bad for you. Then shoot them with your gun.
8.12.2010
One of the funniest things in the world is a big dog dragging a scrawny person behind it.