Dan of the Day » death

YOLO

Dan of the Day — Fri, 18 May 2012 20:47:36 +0000

All these people saying, “You only live once!” are going to feel pretty stupid someday if it turns out reincarnation is real.

Dan of the Day — Thu, 15 Mar 2012 19:23:37 +0000

A diamond ring is a hard, cold, lifeless symbol for a new marriage. We should have engagement kittens.

Dan of the Day — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 20:54:22 +0000

They say 99 Red Balloons is a war protest song, but obviously the message is, “Don’t let go of balloons or everyone will die.” Tell your kids.

Dan of the Day — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 21:12:29 +0000

So the Bible says Lot’s wife was turned into a pillar of salt. I’ve always wondered if afterwards everyone refilled their salt shakers.

Dan of the Day — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 20:33:48 +0000

What’s up with hangman? You start with a gallows and lose after you add all the body parts. Pretty sure he died from being cut up, not hanging.

Dan of the Day — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 19:15:10 +0000

If people respawned somewhere else a few seconds after they die, just like in video games, I would kill a lot more people in real life.

Dan of the Day — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 20:15:41 +0000

If you’re ever stranded in the desert, just dig a really deep hole. You probably won’t find water, but your dead body will be safe from coyotes.

Dan of the Day — Wed, 18 May 2011 19:35:43 +0000

New details emerge on bin Laden raid: “When he died, his feet curled up on themselves.” Pentagon still unsure what to do with ruby slippers.

Dan of the Day — Tue, 17 May 2011 19:40:30 +0000

The movie Bambi changed my life. When Bambi’s mother died, I vowed to myself that I would never ever EVER live in the forest. Too dangerous.

Dan of the Day — Tue, 11 May 2010 17:13:53 +0000

I’ll bet Satan is tired of having people come to him after they die and saying, “What the hell?”