All these people saying, “You only live once!” are going to feel pretty stupid someday if it turns out reincarnation is real.
Funny thoughts on death
3.15.2012
A diamond ring is a hard, cold, lifeless symbol for a new marriage. We should have engagement kittens.
3.2.2012
They say 99 Red Balloons is a war protest song, but obviously the message is, “Don’t let go of balloons or everyone will die.” Tell your kids.
2.9.2012
So the Bible says Lot’s wife was turned into a pillar of salt. I’ve always wondered if afterwards everyone refilled their salt shakers.
12.14.2011
What’s up with hangman? You start with a gallows and lose after you add all the body parts. Pretty sure he died from being cut up, not hanging.
10.26.2011
If people respawned somewhere else a few seconds after they die, just like in video games, I would kill a lot more people in real life.
8.17.2011
If you’re ever stranded in the desert, just dig a really deep hole. You probably won’t find water, but your dead body will be safe from coyotes.
5.18.2011
New details emerge on bin Laden raid: “When he died, his feet curled up on themselves.” Pentagon still unsure what to do with ruby slippers.
5.17.2011
The movie Bambi changed my life. When Bambi’s mother died, I vowed to myself that I would never ever EVER live in the forest. Too dangerous.
5.11.2010
I’ll bet Satan is tired of having people come to him after they die and saying, “What the hell?”