I can’t believe I completely forgot to care about the Academy Awards.
Funny thoughts on celebrities
7.8.2013
I want to write a joke about Larry King, but he’ll probably die soon and then I’ll look like a jerk.
11.10.2011
I thought Justin Beaver was a character from Dora the Explorer. Now you’re telling me he fathered a child?
6.8.2011
If someone says they’re a big fan of yours, ask to see the tattoo.
3.2.2011
Despite the faked death and multiple plastic surgeries, I know Thriller was true: Michael Jackson has been a zombie since 1983.
2.10.2010
I know two kinds of people that can be genuinely surprised by their own farts: little babies, and Joan Rivers.
