Dan of the Day » cars

Calling the Cops

Dan of the Day — Mon, 27 Feb 2012 22:40:31 +0000

Whenever I feel like calling the cops, I think, “What if someone called the cops on me?” Then I realize they probably did, so I hotwire a car and drive to Mexico.

Cars from Hawaii

Dan of the Day — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 22:52:43 +0000

I can understand why I occasionally see Alaska license plates, but I really want to know how those cars from Hawaii drove across the Pacific.

Slow Driver Limit

Dan of the Day — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 20:31:57 +0000

There needs to be a legal limit to the number of cars stuck behind a slow driver before they have to pull over and find their gas pedal.

Gas Light

Dan of the Day — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 20:56:24 +0000

It’s a good thing my car has a light to tell me when the gas is low, because that fuel gauge right next to it is too complicated to understand.

Convertibles and Sun

Dan of the Day — Mon, 26 Sep 2011 20:37:42 +0000

Ever notice how the people who drive convertibles are almost always the type who have had way too much sun already?

Minivan Sport

Dan of the Day — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 18:03:37 +0000

The other day I saw a Dodge Grand Caravan Sport. Unless it has a jet engine, I just don’t see how a minivan could ever be sporty.

Rutabaga

Dan of the Day — Mon, 12 Sep 2011 19:49:23 +0000

I used to think a rutabaga was a kind of car. Turns out it’s not, it just tastes like one.

Huge People, Little Cars

Dan of the Day — Fri, 02 Sep 2011 19:56:51 +0000

I can’t help laughing when little people drive huge cars or huge people drive little cars. It’s like clowns at the circus.

Dummy in the Road

Dan of the Day — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 20:57:42 +0000

If anyone ever got mad at me for throwing a dummy at their car, I’d just turn to it and yell, “I told you to stay out of the road, dummy!”

Warning Light

Dan of the Day — Thu, 06 Jan 2011 17:10:02 +0000

This warning light is always on in my car:

I figure it either means my trunk is open, or my taillights are emitting gamma rays.