I can understand why I occasionally see Alaska license plates, but I really want to know how those cars from Hawaii drove across the Pacific.
1.20.2012
There needs to be a legal limit to the number of cars stuck behind a slow driver before they have to pull over and find their gas pedal.
11.7.2011
It’s a good thing my car has a light to tell me when the gas is low, because that fuel gauge right next to it is too complicated to understand.
9.26.2011
Ever notice how the people who drive convertibles are almost always the type who have had way too much sun already?
9.23.2011
The other day I saw a Dodge Grand Caravan Sport. Unless it has a jet engine, I just don’t see how a minivan could ever be sporty.
9.12.2011
I used to think a rutabaga was a kind of car. Turns out it’s not, it just tastes like one.
9.2.2011
I can’t help laughing when little people drive huge cars or huge people drive little cars. It’s like clowns at the circus.
8.9.2011
If anyone ever got mad at me for throwing a dummy at their car, I’d just turn to it and yell, “I told you to stay out of the road, dummy!”
1.6.2011
This warning light is always on in my car:
I figure it either means my trunk is open, or my taillights are emitting gamma rays.
5.19.2010
If you fly past me on the open freeway, and two minutes later I fly past you, it’s because I’m using cruise control, and you’re driving like an idiot.
