My wife gave me kisses for Valentine’s Day. Now at work I give kisses to everyone who passes by. Chocolate makes me sound like a whore.
Funny thoughts on candy
9.22.2011
I’ll bet sucker factory workers never get tired of calling each other Sucka! and then pretending they were pointing at candy behind them.
2.14.2011
The difference between conversation hearts and chalk is that you can actually say something meaningful with chalk. Also, chalk tastes better.
10.29.2010
Halloween: The kids are scared of ghosts and monsters. The adults are scared people will think they’re pedophiles if they don’t give out candy.
5.13.2010
My daughter wanted to name the baby Candy Bar, but I told her no way, because I wanted to name him Twix.