There’s no business like show business. Of course, there’s also no business like sewage treatment.
5.16.2011
“Chairman of the Board,” he says, and I’m like, “Chair Man of the Board, huh? Yeah, carpentry is pretty cool.”
5.12.2011
Though normal around others, Jim always used rising intonation when speaking to his employees. He had a chronic staff inflection.
1.21.2011
Remember how a stink bomb would clear the room instantly in grade school? They’re also perfect for boring business meetings.
4.6.2010
No, I said stick-figure salary. We’ll be paying you in black-and-white-oversimplified-cartoon cash.
2.15.2010
Some day I hope to found a company that is as universally famous as Acme.
12.21.2009
Are business meetings largely a waste of time? Let’s hold a meeting to discuss.
7.29.2009
If you’re having trouble with sleeping during business meetings, just try some earplugs.
7.13.2009
Jargon: an industry’s way of making you think that what they do is really complicated.
Here’s a partial list of some corporate jargon:
- SBU – strategic business underwear
- actionable – movies like the Terminator, Batman, the Matrix, etc.
- conflict resolution – resolving issues through armed force
- best practices – the kind that end with a shout of, “Goooo team!” followed by milk and cookies
- CEO – chief executioner officer
- competitive advantage – performance-enhancing substances
- milestones – large stones carried for a mile as a business-related punishment
- MNC – multi-nautilus company
- downsize – what to do when you have no idea how to fix things
- rightsize – the same as downsize (!)
- monetization – selling off office furniture, appliances, etc.
Know some jargon of your own?
